Dear Hubby,

I fell in love with a boy. It’s been a few months. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you until now.

I guess it’s because I was kinda hoping he would be you. But now when I think about it, I feel like God is just trying to give me confidence and hope. To show me that I can fall in love with a decent Christian guy (that they are not incredibly boring. lol). He is like the first guy that made me think.. if I’m with him, I would be the luckiest girl in the world. Honey, I’m sure you are better suited for me than him but it is just so cool to meet a good guy. And plus, he’s been like a brother to me and I’ve been a sister to him. That’s all.

Nothing will happen between him and me. He has no idea about my feelings for him and it will stay that way.

I know I’m not ready for a relationship right now. There are so much things I want to do on my own. So many places I want to go. I’m just not ready to settle down.

But I’m pretty happy to be able to smile and dream again. I just gotta follow God’s plan and everything will be perfect.

Your Wife

Lord,

Recently, I have been very busy. I know that’s no excuse to not spend time with you. School and work and my own selfishness consumes me.  I thank you for the two jobs that I have. And thank you for the people I meet at work. They are nice to me. And I haven’t crashed yet even though I have been pushing myself very hard. I know you are the one who’s been giving me all my strength to do these things.

I miss you.

I confess that I’ve been trying to keep myself busy so I can escape all the troubles I have. As I go from place to place, I forget about my problems temporarily as I bury and numb the hurt I have inside. I want to cry. I want to screm out loud. But I know that will not help. I know only you can give me comfort.

Father, be there with me. Help me be strong. Help me with my addictions. Help me with my selfishness. I trust you with my life.

In Jesus’ name,

Amen.

How long must I pray, must I pray to You?
How long must I wait, must I wait for You?
How long ’til I see Your face, see You shining through?
I’m on my knees, begging You to notice me.
I’m on my knees, Father will you turn to me?

One tear in the dropping rain,
One voice in the sea of pain
Could the maker of the stars
Hear the sound of my breakin’ heart?
One light, that’s all I am
Right now I can barely stand
If You’re everything You say You are
Won’t You come close and hold my heart

I’ve been so afraid, afraid to close my eyes
So much can slip away before I say goodbye.
But if there’s no other way, I’m done asking why.
Cuz I’m on my knees, begging You to turn to me
I’m on my knees, Father will you run to me?

One tear in the dropping rain,
One voice in the sea of pain
Could the maker of the stars
Hear the sound of my breakin’ heart?
One light, that’s all I am
Right now I can barely stand
If You’re everything You say You are
Won’t You come close and hold my heart.

So many questions without answers, Your promises remain
I can’t sleep but I’ll take my chances to hear You call my name
To hear You call my name

One tear in the dropping rain,
One voice in the sea of pain
Could the maker of the stars
Hear the sound of my breakin’ heart?
One light, that’s all I am
Right now I can barely stand
If You’re everything You say You are
Won’t You come close and hold my heart.

Hold my heart, could you hold my heart?
Hold my heart.

Absolutism: Don’t we all have to find truth for ourselves? (A Sermon)

Link found here: http://sermons.redeemer.com/store/index.cfm?fuseaction=category.display&category_ID=29&CFID=135363&CFTOKEN=39911994

Scripture Reading: Galatians 2:4-16

There are my notes for the sermon:

• “People who think they have absolute truth tend to undermine freedom.”
• The objection: absolute truth is the enemy of freedom
• “Truth is a lot more important than you think, freedom is lot more complex than you think, and Jesus is a lot more liberating than you think.”
• Truth – Important
• Freedom – Complex
• Jesus – Liberating
• “Freedom comes from the truth.” – Galatians / Paul
• “To see through everything is the same as not seeing.” – C.S. Lewis
• Freedom – Love, Love – dependance on the other
• An absolute Person, not principle
• God surrendered his freedom so we can trust him
• walking in line with the truth of the gospel
• “The love of Christ constrains us.”
• “Our pleasure and our duty though opposite before, since we have seen his beauty, are joined apart no more. To see the law by Christ fulfilled and hear his pardoning voice, transforms a slave into a child, and duty into choice.” John Newton

God, grant me the serenity

To accept the things I cannot change,

The courage to change the things I can,

And the wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time,

Enjoying one moment at a time;

Accepting hardship as a pathway to peace,

Taking as Jesus did this sinful world as it is,

Not as I would have it, trusting that you will make

All things right if I surrender to your will;

So that I may be reasonably happy in this life

And supremely happy with you in the next.

Something to recite everyday that will help me:

I am a precious child of God. I am beautiful inside and out. I am strong emotionally and spiritually.  I have clear skin, brown hair and hazel eyes. I am tall and graceful. I have a healthy body image because I eat healthy food and excercise regularly. I am a good person who has God’s love and forgiveness. I love Jesus by studying the Bible and following God’s will. I am smart, talented and filled with the Holy spirit.  I was asked by God to love and care for this world and its people. I will do that until the day I’m called home by my heavenly father.

I had a milk tea yesterday afternoon.

My eyes were searching for somebody in the sun as I sipped on my bubble tea.

I thought about you.

What were you doing?

Last night, I couldn’t sleep.

So I got up at 1am and ate some bread.

I wonder if you are up late at night.

Do you eat bread and milk at night too?

I miss you.

What do you see when you look at your world today
Is it so full of clutter that you feel like you’re going insane
And you can’t fight back cause you’re just too afraid
And it seems like the clouds in your sky don’t wanna change
You see there’s always another story, another side to every coin
And how you see your circumstance is all about a choice

CHORUS
When you see the rushing wind, feel the pouring rain
Hear the thunder now as the clouds roll in
You’re blinded by the lightning
Do you also hear that still, small voice saying
It’s okay you’re not alone
You may be scared to death but I won’t let you go
You may think the sky above is falling
But can you hear Jesus calling

What do you see when you look at your world today
Do you see a glimmer of hope, or has it all turned to gray
Well start by counting your blessings one by one
Oh and I’m sure right there, you’ll start to see the sun
You see there’s always another story, another side to every coin
And how you see your circumstance is all about a choice

CHORUS
Because the darker the night, the brighter He can shine

CHORUS 2x

Dear my husband,

This has been a difficult time these days for me. I am unsure about what I want to do in the coming school year. I am exposed to a lot of different opportunities, such as working on campus, taking classes outside of university, volunteering etc. I wish I had the wisdom to know how to distribute my time. I pray that God will guide my heart to make the right decisions with Godly motivations. 

I was asked to do a lot of activities these days to hang out with friend etc. I think I haven’t been spending enough time with God or even for myself (like cleaning my room). Perhaps it’s time for me to cut back on social activities and focus on God and myself more. My to-do list is only getting bigger.

I need better time management skills. I also need to pray for more guidance and wisdom. Hmm…

Your wife

Dear my husband,

Yesterday I speak with my mom on the phone. Like every other mother, she is concerned about my future, mainly my relationships. Apparently, the main reason any guy would want to pursue a relationship is based on looks. She said she wants me to spend more time reading fashion magazines. She thinks I need to learn to accesorize or learn to put on make up. I am glad at least the conversation is not about weight this time. (She has been complaining about my weight for the longest time, until her recent visit, when she discovered that I’m actually not THAT fat.)

She said, “don’t you want to be that girl, the one who’s so pretty that everybody’s eyes will be automatically drawn to her?” Do I want to be that girl? Will being that girl make me happy? Will that one moment of pride fulfill all my longing for acceptance for who I am? I understand that my mom just wants the best for me. But I have never been that little girl who plays dress up with mommy’s clothes or make up.

I know I shouldn’t worry. Because I know, one day, you will notice me in the crowd of sparkling girls. God will lead your heart to mine. You will see me for who I am and love me always.

Your wife